margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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