how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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