We need to rekindle our bromance
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
