as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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