ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my poor anus
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
