Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
its liver damage thursday
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
