I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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