So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
