Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
