Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
