Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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