I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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