Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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