Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
