forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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