I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
