She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
