so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
