At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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