Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
