so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
