Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
