Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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