I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
