He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
