I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
