but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i've created a new STD.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
