got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
