Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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