I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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