and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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