I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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