just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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