he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
