Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
