Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
