Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize