shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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