They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
