went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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