White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I understand Curling. That high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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