You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
