I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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