READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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