woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
