I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
