FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
