Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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