I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just forgot I was standing up.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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