we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
