Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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