I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
