Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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