it's too hot outside to masturbate.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
