I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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