I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
