is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
