member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
