Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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