Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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